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Life After 30 (high altitude, single origin, 1800m above sea level only)

The above subtitle is one I read about espresso - in a pay-for-content, blog-famous personality's 2016 Almanac. It made me laugh. It put some ideas in perspective - I've been mulling over the differences between those in their twenties and we in our thirties. This description illustrates what I've discovered astutely.  

People seem to move from the self-righteous flailing of youth toward revelatory living with conviction - they're not dissimilar but are packaged very differently.

TWENTIES

From what I gather, it's largely the same from when I was there - now with Snapchat! A lot of brazen attitude. There's the not giving any fucks, road trips, music, and drugs and/or the audacity to believe they're going to disrupt all of the things. It's the two sides of young responsibility - "Me? Fuck no, never! I'd rather be buried in my debt than give in to the man." or "It's well within my 5-year plan to be worth over a million and I'm currently a Creative Director of something that may or may not exist after those 5 years but who cares because money." 

THIRTIES

Common thoughts here: "Wait. No, seriously, wait - all that was bullshit? Now I actually have to figure out what I really want my life to be about? Ooooookay. How do you expect me to do that?" There's the calm relief from the removal of the imagined pressure of your twenties. But then comes the renewal of the concept that this is our one life and we better make it count. Enter in loads of guidance:

  • HOW TO BE PRODUCTIVE
  • 10 MORNING RITUALS HAPPY PEOPLE STICK TO
  • SUPER FOODS
  • 7 MINUTE WORKOUTS BETWEEN SOULCYCLE CLASSES
  • FUCK THAT CORPORATE LADDER - I'M AN ENTREPRENEUR! 
  • ALL THE COACHING AND BOUTIQUE LEARNING
  • MEDITATION
  • DON'T LOOK AT ALL THAT - I'M STILL SO COOL (so cool I have an excessively specific, pretentious espresso standard)

This is not a critique. I'm claiming what I'm seeing - how our needs change between these two decades. As I said, however, it's not SO different. 

Similarities include: perpetually getting "healthy", being better about money, binging on Netflix, congratulating oneself for "adulting", and procrastinating. 

I enjoy being in my thirties. However, the calm that happens, the resigning of myself to the truth that figuring it all out never happens and reclaiming seeing the beauty in the journey - I can't claim that. I didn't cause or create that, fortunately that seems to happen naturally. What I do claim is that - 

I have some beliefs that will not wane as I move forward toward forty. Here they are, in a nutshell:

WHAT I'M OKAY WITH:

I'm totally cool with (and grateful for) "I'm hungover," never being a reason for anything ever again. Seeing a progression in how I spend my time, and what my social time is centered around is cool - it's the point - what would a life on only 1 mode be? These 20 year-olds who crave adventure, excitement, etc. will hopefully be able to see that the definition of that isn't confined to one filtered tumblr image of a road trip. I experience more with the expanded eyes and interests where I am now than when my Saturday-night-checklist was short and stupid.

WHAT I'M NOT OKAY WITH:

(and will continually try to work against, here are some posts around my work on fear)

This one is terrifyingly real and we have to put in work to fight against it. I combat it with surprise dates, saying yes to things I'm uncertain about, trying new things, travel, moving myself more toward curiosity and interest and away from obligation, and working on staying in the present. Personally, I have always been the chart on the right, but I believe there's hope. Just don't be blindsided youngins, stay woke.

WHAT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT:

  • DRESSING YOUR AGE - get the fuck out of here with that, absolutely not. 
  • Mandated MILESTONES - marriage, kids, savings accounts, a practical job, they're ALL OPTIONAL, remember that.
  • Concepts like - own, rent, new, used, vintage,  branding, marketing, quick fixes, people never change, money as a solution, fitting in - always find ways to stay true to yourself.
  • BEING UNAWARE, it's never too early to care about your health or learn to manage your money

WHAT'S TOTALLY ACCURATE

...and that's okay. When I'm home in NJ I hang out with my 23-year-old brother and his friends and I have fun for a couple hours and then I go home to my reasonable bedtime or prayer life or tarot reading and it's all good. I respect their need to explore the world explosively, I strive to do so in new ways also. I also really appreciate how comfortable I feel, the support I have, the pockets of stability where I can wander off and explore the world, rearranging my bedroom, and continuing to grow my life - openly and not within the confines of either decades' made-up structures. 

x/Amy

Amy KocurComment